id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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