He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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