WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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