we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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