What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
