We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
