you win again, gameday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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