Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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