he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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