would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
