walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
