Where did you get a picture of my penis
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
