I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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