fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
