So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
