I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
