I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
