I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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