Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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