Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
