why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
