I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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