I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
