Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
