I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
