Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
