Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
