He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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