is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
