Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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