I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My liver just had a heart attack.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
