the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't think brook has ever known best
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
