Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
