So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
