when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize