This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
