i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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