i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
