We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
