can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
