Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
