very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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