I cockslap morals
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
