I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize