This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
