so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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