i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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