Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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