First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
