you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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