Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
