wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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