Sponge bath it is.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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