Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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