Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
