how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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