His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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