I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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