just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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