just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
