That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
