i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
