I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize