You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
