Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
