she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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